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We enjoy these spaces for their anonymity, but they can be frightening to people who don’t understand their purpose. A blacked-out, lights-off room, for instance, invites groping from people you can’t see. In certain sex spaces, some consent is forfeited with the act of entering them.
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They may be lights-off, or they may require hoods or other gear that obscures features. They are structured with the intent of keeping the identities of everyone present relatively secret. Prepare polite ways to refuse, and state what you’re comfortable with without any judgement. If you’re sober, or if there are some substances you’ll accept and others you don’t want to be around, prepare for this discussion. Some guys live in fantasies pretending drugs don’t exist, or that they can be avoided by staying away from “those people.” These guys contribute to a culture of erasure and stigma in which our brothers suffer, unaided and misunderstood.ĭon’t do that. If you make sex parties a regular part of your weekends, you will encounter substances. It's important to know that these risks are real.ĭon’t let the reality of drugs dissuade you from sex parties. These risks are true of all illicit substances, regardless if you use them at a sex party or your grandmother's Sunday luncheon.
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Two key risks in taking unregulated compounds (street drugs) is that you never know what you’re taking, and you don’t know how they’ll interact with each other. Here’s 55 dos and don’ts of attending a gay sex party. Get past your notions about who attends them (you’ll meet pros and first-timers, kinky and vanilla, old and young) and go to one. No matter the specifics, you're there to play. Sometimes the backroom/play area is tucked away near the bathrooms - a lights-out area you have the option of entering. Sometimes the party is one giant sex party. That led me to large dance/play parties, events with hundreds of guys in attendance: sweat fests and dark dance floors with slings off to one side. I liked the freedom and camaraderie of playing with others without pressure or expectation. After we separated, I became the third guy and played with couples across the country. The only problem with that, of course, is that it’s hard to agree on things as a couple - guys included. My boyfriend and I hit the bars seeking guys we both thought were cute.